Today I’m in a very “I’m so glad other women exist and I love you all so much and I want to be all of your best friends because you’re so lovely and interesting and amazing” mood <3




oh my fucking god



holy shit that went deep

This was really important commentary for Military Sexual Trauma which is extremely common in the US (79% of women serving in the military since Vietnam reported experiences of sexual harassment)

(via archduckfranz)

I own potentially 12 different lip balms and can never find a single one of them.

Last week, the New York Times magazine published a lengthy piece on bisexuality by Benoit Denizet-Lewis titled “The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists.” Despite the NYT’s less than stellar track record on bisexual reporting, (e.g. “Straight, Gay or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited,” and the need for reminders that bi men are real), Denizet-Lewis’s piece is informative, well-researched, worth a read, and has prompted many discussions about bi invisibility and erasure. 

But its core premise — that scientific research is still wrestling with the existence of bisexuality, especially in men — is fairly ridiculous when one considers all the real, tangible, and well-documented oppressions faced by bisexuals. With that in mind, here are some better questions we think science should be asking about bisexuality.

8. Why don’t people believe bisexuals when they say, “I’m bisexual?”

Bisexuals don’t go around asking straight people if they’re “confused” or going through a “phase.” Indeed, heterosexuality is presumed until explicitly stated otherwise. Coming out as gay (for the most part) is not met with a chorus of “nuh uh!” Most people’s sexual orientations and identities are taken at the word of their beholders. But this isn’t the case for bisexuality. Why? Why do we think all bi men are “closet-cases” and bi women are “lesbians until graduation”? Part of is has to do with stereotypes, of course, but it’s a curious conundrum nonetheless, especially when you consider that more Americans believe in angels and Santa Claus than bisexuals.

7. Why are bisexual women more likely to be depressed?

2011 study published in the American Journal of Public Health found that bisexual women were more likely to suffer from depression, stress, and were prone to binge-drinking than their straight or gay counterparts. Again, invisibility and stigma are thought to play a role in these findings, but why are the risk factors higher in those who are attracted to more than one gender?

6. Why are bi women far more likely to be abused, assaulted, and raped by their partners?

Bisexual women are twice as likely to be sexually assaulted as straight women and lesbians, according to a CDC study from 2010. And almost half of bi women have been raped. This is horrifying and alarming, far more so than dating woes, which is one of the few nods to bisexual women’s problems in the NYT piece.

5. Why is the overall opinion of bisexuals negative, even among gay people?

The B is there in LGBT, after all. Why then does an inordinate amount of bisexual scrutiny come from those under the rainbow umbrella? An American Public Health Associationsurvey found that: “…even within the LGBT community, those who were gay or lesbian were more likely to be biased or prejudiced towards bisexual people than those who identified as bisexual.” We’ve said it before, but we’ll say it again: Why does the queer community, which prides (pun intended) itself on inclusivity, then deny, reject, or ridicule its queer brethren?

4. Why are more bisexuals on food stamps?

Autostraddle wrote an excellent piece in response to the NYT’s, and also on a study which found that LGBT people are 1.7 times as likely to experience food insecurity and be on food stamps than straight people. Within those findings, bisexuals were almost twice as likely to be on food stamps as Ls and Gs: “The [Williams] institute found that 25 percent of bisexual people reported receiving SNAP benefits, in contrast to 14 percent of the gay and lesbian population.” 

3. Why do bisexuals suffer from mental health disparities and poverty?

Very likely correlating with the food stamps question above is the question of the overall health of bisexual people, which is poor. A study from Psychological Science puts it blandly, yet bluntly:

"[B]isexual women had significantly poorer mental health than lesbians and heterosexual women—findings consistent with other studies on bisexuals. Possible reasons are that bisexuals tend to face rejection in both the straight and gay communities; and that their mixed sexual orientation is more difficult to integrate psychologically than homosexuals’ single-sex orientation."
How do we address these issues?

2. If being out is integral to better mental health, how do we foster an environment where bisexuals can come out? 

Research in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry (Vol. 71, No. 1), found that: “the more ‘out’ lesbians and bisexual women were — as measured by self-identification as a gay or lesbian, number of years out and level of involvement in the lesbian or bisexual community — the less psychological distress they reported.” Great! So how do we apply this to bisexuals?

1. When can we stop endlessly writing hand-wringing articles positing whether bisexuals exist? Or asking whether bi identity is a "useful fiction" as Slate put it? 

Because: duh. 

In other news, I just Google Map&#8217;d the street I grew up on and oh god, the memories are hitting me right in the childhood. That town may have been the most useless, podunk, middle-of-nowhere place but at least the streets were pretty. 
I&#8217;ve also just now realized why I love gloomy skies versus sunny weather, because I grew up with this beautiful gloomy mess. In other news, I just Google Map&#8217;d the street I grew up on and oh god, the memories are hitting me right in the childhood. That town may have been the most useless, podunk, middle-of-nowhere place but at least the streets were pretty. 
I&#8217;ve also just now realized why I love gloomy skies versus sunny weather, because I grew up with this beautiful gloomy mess.

In other news, I just Google Map’d the street I grew up on and oh god, the memories are hitting me right in the childhood. That town may have been the most useless, podunk, middle-of-nowhere place but at least the streets were pretty. 

I’ve also just now realized why I love gloomy skies versus sunny weather, because I grew up with this beautiful gloomy mess.


Monica Jones was convicted, in spite of the community coming out to support her. Laverne Cox spoke about her at the GLAAD Media awards


Monica was arrested for “walking while trans” — and now her supporters are fighting back

In the Grand Canyon state, “walking while trans” may very well be a criminal act.

That was the message sent last Friday by the Phoenix judge who convicted trans woman Monica Jones of “manifesting prostitution” following her arrest by undercover police officers in May of 2013.

Read moreFollow policymic

(via wellbehavedwomen-dontmakehistory)


Anonymous asked:

I feel like my life and everything I'm doing is going nowhere..I just moved away to my """safe""" college and it feels like every plan I've made for myself has completely failed and I feel miserable and I dont know what to do with my life.


Aw babe <3 I’ve been there trust me. Not with the whole college thing but with having a plan for yourself and it completely falling to pieces. 

Like when I moved to San Francisco a couple of years ago I had this very specific plan as to how my life was going to go and my life literally did a complete 180 and took a completely unexpected turn and I’m really glad it did because I’m in a much better place now.

I know it’s really frustrating when the things you planned for yourself don’t work out, and it sucks and its unfair and there is no “why” to it, it just happens and its hard and change will always happen, I know its scary but it will pass and you will get through it and you dont need to know what to do with your life, if you just moved away to college I’m guessing you’re around 17-19, you’re (probably) in a new city where you don’t know many people, so you really don’t need to know what you’re doing with your life right now <3


Anonymous asked:

Lola how did you come out to your parents? Or are you still in the closet with them? Sorry if this sounds nosy I just want to come out to mine and don't really know how to :/


I don’t really have a ~family~ to come out to but with my friends or just generally the people I care about I came out to them in stages, like first my best friend, then closer people, then acquaintances, then strangers, etc etc. 

I think it’s best to come out to the closest people first then expand, so that way it’ll get easier with each step and you’ll have more support, so if someone says something bad or hurtful about it, you’ll still have your main support system and you don’t feel as alone. Does that make sense? 


Anonymous asked:

Lola how do i become super cool and pretty and popular and go to all the chic events in town and date famouzzzz people?


I feel like this question would be extremely more appropriate for someone a little cooler than me because I just got invited to a fancy magazine launch party and the only thing on my mind is the fact that I’m going to be in heels for 4 hours which will probably lead to me tripping and falling face down into someone’s appetizer. 


Anonymous asked:

I read in one of your articles that youve been called a bitch a lot and that makes me sad because youre one of the nicest people :(


Thanks bunny =) It’s okay though, I can deal with it, it really doesn’t matter how nice of a person you are, if you’re a woman, you’ve been called a bitch before at some point, I’ve seen the most innocent friendly women called bitches, it’s got nothing to do with who we are, it’s just the only thing people can say when they feel threatened.


Anonymous asked:

it's really fucking unfair when a guy gropes me when I'm out with my friends and then i end up wasting a $10 drink on his pathetic face it should be socially acceptable to demand a guy buy you a new drink if you have to use yours as a creep-repeller -____-


ugh it really should be <3 Guys in clubs and bars (or wherever there’s alcohol) are disgusting and not worth the delicious drinks you spill on them x 

So apparently I came out to everyone when I was 7 and forgot about it till now.

I was watching TV last night and I saw a scene where a 5th grade boy professes his love to a 16 year old girl and I apparently completely repressed the memory of doing the same thing when I was like 7 on a trip to York and there was the most beautiful girl who was way older than me and had a boyfriend but later that night I wrote and illustrated an entire comic about how we were going to get married on the mountains and live forever and ever together, and then proceeded to show it to everyone around me and gave it to her the next morning and everyone thought I was like asking her to be my friend in a completely platonic way?? Amazing =’)


Anonymous asked:

How do you deal with MRAs who insist on pestering you about how you don't care about men's issues or how more men are murdered or why is rape only a woman's issue or general garbage like that?


My personal method of dealing with it is ignoring them and not giving them any attention because the few times in the past I’ve actually tried to explain it to them was like talking to a wall, they don’t want an answer, they just want to try to prove you wrong. 

However, I understand that some people aren’t okay with simply ignoring them and if you actually want to confront them about it, you can just ask them what have they done in the past to benefit rape survivors, both male and female? If they genuinely believe feminists don’t care about male victims, okay, then what have they done for male victims? What have they done for female victims? What have they done for anyone? Another common thing MRAs like to go on about is how women in third-world countries have it way worse than women in America (which is true) and we shouldn’t complain about “silly things like campus college rape and wage gaps” (which is not true). So what have they done to help women in other countries? What have they done for the girls in countries who have endured FGM (female genital mutilation) or child brides, child soldiers, or men being taken from their homes, beaten by the police and thrown in jail for being gay, the list goes on.  

Good feminism should be working to focus on all of these issues, however what MRAs are really saying is not “you don’t care about other victims and I do” what they’re saying is “you should shut up and take it until i think it’s bad enough that you’re allowed to complain”. Men’s Rights Activists don’t care about men, they don’t care about men of color or trans men or anyone except the cisgendered straight white male and maintaining the privilege that they’ve had for centuries so that they don’t have to actually be held accountable for all the crap they’ve done. 


Anonymous asked:

You've said before that you plan to write Catman's bisexuality into canon, so... what type of guys is he into?



Good question.

I bet they have a moustache, though.

Catman is bisexual??! WOOHOO!!!